Slot Machine Funny Quotes

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'The casino played a song of its own—slot machines dinging, chips clacking as the dealer passed them out to the players at the tables, and the chatter of people throwing down money with the hope of hitting it big. It was like a carnival for adults. A person could get lost for days in a place like this.'. Casino Quotes Nicky Santoro: You put my fuckin' money to sleep. You go get my money or I'll put your fuckin' brain to sleep!

When slots were first invented, gamers would hinge their hopes for a win on the horseshoes, diamonds, spades, hearts, and Liberty Bell symbols on the three-wheel machines. These days, slots keep players entertained with a variety of themes, symbols and characters and for many, it's the quirky characters that keep them coming back for more.

The Griffin family members

Whether you prefer to play slots online or on land, you're sure to find a plethora of fun-filled slot machines these days that centre on popular TV shows or films. By far one of the most popular adult animations, Family Guy, even has a slot counterpart, perfect for those looking for a little entertainment and a couple of laughs with every spin.

At the heart of the epic Fox TV show, Family Guy-inspired slots are the antics of the Griffin family, which are as LOL-worthy as they are politically incorrect. This slot game may have you chuckling at your computer with quotes popping up on screen and soundbite snippets from the show itself. Between the crazy family's characters and the fact that this game has a huge range of special features and bonuses, you're sure to be entertained and eager to come back for more.

Pink Panther

One of the most well-known cartoon characters of all time also has his very own slot games. If you're someone who likes to play slots online, then you have to try at least one game on the iconic Pink Panther slots. While he's not necessarily a 'laugh out loud' kind of character, there's no slot game more classic than this one and what's more, it comes with epic bonus games, progressive jackpot adventure rounds, special features, Pink Panther wilds and much more, making it a wildly exciting game to play.

The Mad Hatter

The Mad Hatter slot machine has drawn its inspiration from the fabulous Hatter from Alice in Wonderland. The definition of ‘quirky', the Mad Hatter is depicted in this slot game in dramatic poses or leaping with joy and boasting rather interesting expressions. He appears amongst other symbols on the reels, many of which also relate back to the original tale, with rabbits, teapots and pastries making appearances.

In these slot games, the Mad Hatter often stands in for the wild symbol with a bunny representing the scatter symbol. Other fun quirks include a Cuckoo Bonus which is triggered by the appearance of three cuckoo clocks or more. With hilarious images, upbeat sounds and vivid colours, this game is equally light-hearted and entertaining.

Funny Slot Machine

Little Britain characters

Much like the Family Guy theme, the Little Britain slots are a firm favourite among avid British TV fans. This incredibly entertaining slot game is based on the TV comedy sketch of the same name and it leverages a phenomenal range of characters from the show. Loads of extra features and character-driven bonuses which are unbelievably creative and hilarious make this slot game extra fun. You might want to play this one in the comfort (and privacy) of your home as random outbursts of laughter on the tube might be frowned upon. If you're a Little Britain fan, you'll definitely appreciate how they have harnessed the humour from the show for this game.

Moody, egg-laying chickens

The incredibly creative EggOMatic slot centres on a rooster that is in charge of a factory of noticeably angry/tired/grumpy egg-laying chickens. The rooster's main job is to ensure that the chickens lay as many bonus eggs as possible to give players ample opportunity to win. The designers of the game did a great job with the animations and the entertainment value lies largely with the comically sleepy and unhappy hens.

Fruity Burst characters

Whenever you play online slots (or even on-land), you'll probably come across the ever-popular Fruity Burst slots. This popular slot game is known for its five reels and 25 paylines which definitely keeps things exciting. With the advancements in technology and graphics, the fruit symbols are cuter than ever before with all the classic favourites represented, from Oranges and Grapes to Lemons and Tomatoes.

Lucky Larry

Gamers who love their video slot games should keep an eye out for the ever-amusing Lucky Larry in Lucky Larry's Lobstermania. This lobster/fisherman is a little odd but hugely popular! Lucky Larry is represented in one of two ways; either a shiny red lobster with a pipe in his mouth (naturally), donning a yellow fisherman's outfit or some sort of human version, with the same quintessential trademarks (the pipe and the yellow fishing gear). The game is generally fairly bizarre because of its off-kilter main character, but ultimately it's great fun and good for a laugh.

Machine

The Flintstones

Quirky, familiar and funny, there's nothing quite like a Flintstones-themed slot. The iconic cartoon that inspired this slot game shot to incredible fame already in the 60s and thanks to ample episodes of the much-loved cartoon, remakes, special editions, live-action movies, spinoffs, and paraphernalia, it's as popular as ever.

The Flintstones video slots have the key Flintstones characters as the slot symbols (including the pet Dino!) and boast an array of unique features, special modes and 'Bowling Bonuses' (Fred does love his bowling) which might mean cash prizes and multipliers for lucky players. The host of special features, the famous characters and epic graphics make this slot game a big hit.

Count Duckula

Take another trip down memory lane (back to the 80s and 90s) with the strange, yet amusing, vegetarian vampire duck — Count Duckula (which was actually a spinoff of Danger Mouse).

This ridiculously creative character is also a central figure in a slot game, with the character himself acting as the wilds. There are special character-driven features and bonuses (including the Igor Mystery Potion and the Duckula Wall of Fame bonus). You can also try to win big with the progressive jackpot feature — with Count Duckula, it feels like anything could be possible.

Drunk bugs

The hilarious Pub Crawlers slot game offers gamers access to a strange world filled with bugs who like their booze. This five-reel slot game centres on bar patrons, ladybug waitresses, flies, scorpions and other bugs having a good old night out. The bartender is a butterfly, there are cockroaches drinking Martinis, spiders playing poker and hornets playing pool — it's creative, unusual and jam-packed with hilarious characters.

The Big Bad Wolf

Funny slot machine

Another hugely popular video slot is the Big Bad Wolf, inspired by the Three Little Pigs tale and the Quickspin version makes use of excellent graphics to depict some truly comical characters. This game takes the form of a five-reel slot with 25 paylines to keep things exciting.

The reels are swooping, symbols tumble down in blocks and wins are marked by exploding symbols which are replaced with new ones (giving the opportunity for multiple wins). The wolf huffs and puffs in one feature (aptly called 'Blowing Down the House') there are wolf scatter symbols, special rewards like extra spins, multipliers and more. It's thrilling and fun with some wonderfully depicted characters.

Slot Machine Funny Quotes


Machine

A romantic frog

Frog Royale is a comedy 3D video slot based on the Frog and the Princess story, where the princess kisses the frog to find out he is her prince charming. Great characters, incredible graphics and enchanting themes make this truly enjoyable to play. This slot game comes with the opportunity to land exceptional bonus features, free spins and special golden symbols which could mean big prizes.

Rango

If quirky, cute and funny slot machines are your thing then you will definitely love Rango. The main character of this jackpot slot is the oddball cowboy chameleon from the animated film and he is joined by a number of his popular co-stars, such as Bad Bill the horrible tortoise and Priscilla the mouse. Goofy, lighthearted and packed with surprises (and the potential for big wins), this slot is a must-play.

Funny Slot Machine Memes

A few feathery fowls

If you're an avid Twitcher then you're bound to love the funny-looking birds in Feathered Frenzy. From parrots and toucans to owls and cardinals, bluebirds and more, you're sure to satiate your love for bird watching and slots with this game. The birds do cute little dances when they land on active paylines, there are loads of free spins up for grabs, a golden scatter egg and comical bonus rounds. The birds have been well-designed to be absolutely adorable.

If you love to play slots online, then the great news is there's no shortage of quirky themes and funny characters to make your gaming experience all the more enjoyable. Head over to Mecca Bingo and embrace the huge variety of slots available at the click of a button. You can also play online bingo, scratchcards, jackpots and more.

If you're a gambler, quote us on this: The odds are you'll love these funny gambling quotes. Who wouldn't go double-down on a page of funny quotes amount gamblers and betting? No crapping out here!

PAGE INDEX
  • Funny Gambling Quotes ..
    GENERAL
  • Gambling - Funny Quotes ..
    AT THE TABLES
  • Gambling Quotes - Funny ..
    TIPS FOR THE GAMBLER
  • Funny Quotes about Gambling ..
    PLAYING THE PONIES
  • Funny Gambler Quotes ..
    FROM MOVIES AND TV
  • Funny Gambling Quotes ..
    FROM THE 'BEYOND ROOM'
  • Also See:
    Related Stuff, Send Me a Quote

Funny Gambling Quotes ..
GENERAL

'Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.'

'I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That's how I lost my mind.'

'The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.'

'The urge to gamble is so universal and its practice so pleasurable that I assume it must be evil.'

'Gambling promises the poor what property performs for the rich—something for nothing. '

'Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.'

'In Louisiana, we don't bet on football games, we bet on whether a politician is going to be indicted or not.'

'Last year people won more than one billion dollars playing poker. And casinos made twenty-seven billion just by being around those people.'

'I don't gamble, because winning a hundred dollars doesn't give me great pleasure. But losing a hundred dollars pisses me off.'

'Casinos and prostitutes have the same thing in common; they are both trying to screw you out of your money and send you home with a smile on you face.'

'Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.'

'No wife can endure a gambling husband—unless he is a steady winner.'

'A Gentleman is a man who will pay his gambling debts even when he knows he has been cheated.'

'If you ain't just a little scared when you enter a casino, you are either very rich or you haven't studied the games enough.'


Sayings

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Funny Gambling Quotes ..
AT THE TABLES

'When your opponent's sittin' there holdin' all the aces, there's only one thing to do: kick over the table.'

'If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you.'

'In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.'

'Baccarat is a game whereby the croupier gathers in money with a flexible sculling oar, then rakes it home. If I could have borrowed his oar I would have stayed.'


FREE AUDIO CLIPS

Funny Gambling Quotes ..
TIPS FOR THE GAMBLER

'There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one.'

'The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.'

'No dog can go as fast as the money you bet on him.'

'The best throw with the dice is to throw them away.'

'In the case of an earthquake hitting Las Vegas, be sure to go straight to the Keno Lounge. Nothing ever gets hit there.'

'Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.'

You can get new funny quotes every month
free by email
Know someone who would enjoy
this page of Funny Gambling Quotes?
Send page

Funny Gambling Quotes ..
PLAYING THE PONIES

'I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.'

'A race track is a place where windows clean people.'

'Nobody has ever bet enough on a winning horse.'

'You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people.'

'One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him.'

'A racehorse is an animal that can take several thousand people for a ride at the same time.'

'Horse sense is a good judgment which keeps horses from betting on people.'

Funny Gambling Quotes ..
FROM MOVIES AND TV

From 101 Dalmatians: The Series

Cruella de Vil: 'Memo to myself: Give up gambling. It's wrong.. especially if you lose money.'

From Star Trek

Spock: 'Captain, I'm beginning to understand why you Earthmen enjoy gambling. No matter how carefully one computes the odds of success, there is still a certain exhilaration in the risk.'

From Casablanca

Captain Renault, pretending to be surprised during a Nazi inspection of Rick's: 'I'm shocked—shocked!—to find that gambling is going on in here!'

AMAZON PURCHASES FROM HERE HELP SUPPORT THIS FREE SITE. THANKS!

Search Amazon.com for more..


Funny Gambling Quotes ..
FROM THE 'BEYOND ROOM'

'I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling, I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.'

'Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.'

'God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.'

'One of the healthiest ways to gamble is with a spade and a package of garden seeds.'

Slot Machine Sayings


THE EVER-POPULAR TORTURED SEGUE

RESILIENT DUKES AND THE HAZARDS OF BOSS ENERGY HOG
Is your home town gambling that gasoline and diesel won't experience future shortages? That electricity outages and disruptions to critical services will be minimal? Probably. Find out what they SHOULD be doing in our article about fuel shortages and power outages.

Slot Machine Funny Quotes Inspirational Quotes


Funny Gambling Quotes
COMM. CENTER & RELATED STUFF

SIMILAR CATEGORIES

Funny Quote subject list

Jokes/Cartoons (General)

PASS 'EM ON!

Do you know someone who would like these funny quotes about gambling and gamblers? Please forward to them.

SEND ME A
FUNNY GAMBLING QUOTE

If you know of a funny gambling quote that I missed, please email it to me. Provide the text of the quote and who said it (and, if you have it, a web reference where we can verify the text and the spelling of the person's name, etc.). So.. email me a quote. Thanks!

Feed Your Brain!
AUDIO CLIPS
THE SURE THING IN NEWS

CATEGORY: HISTORY, FINANCIAL — 14.FEB.2015

Peak Prosperity

Either We Break the Bankster Alliances or They Will Break Us — Nomi Prins reviews the historical circumstances that led to the formation of the big-bank-controlled Federal Reserve; that is, how the financial foxes were put in charge of the public's hen house. She then explains how many rich US elites in the late 1800s/early 1900s thought that keeping money flowing and not being too draconian helped the masses, which in turn helped the elites maintain the system that provided the wealth. But some bankers were not of a mind to play the game this way, and Louis Brandeis warned: 'We must break the Money Trust or the Money Trust will break us.' Nomi Prins says we are headed into a new era of high banker mischief, vast income gaps, and reckless behavior among leaders and elites. She says we must take heed of Brandeis' warning and take down the banker-corporate-politician-industrial complex.
Go to page | Download/listen 52:45

GP comment: I have passed on a couple of Prins interviews earlier this year, but here she is starting to step outside the envelope and address the bankster power structure as the criminal enterprise that it truly is.

Original Show Pub Date: 31.Jan.2015

CATEGORY: MEDIA, EMPIRE — 13.FEB.2015

Democracy Now

Endless War, Endless War Spin — As Obama talks about a new major cycle of the war on terror—this time against the Islamic State—Norman Solomon of the Institute for Public Accuracy says Obama talks about not being interested in 'endless war' but is doing more than any previous president to engage the US in exactly that. Solomon also says Brain Williams' worst lies about war were not his exaggerations of his personal experiences reporting from danger zones but rather his parroting the war propaganda of both the Bush and Obama administrations and his failure to challenge any aspect of the corrupt endless-war agenda. Of course, all the big names in media did the same. Finally, Solomon talks about the case of CIA whistleblower Jeffrey Sterling, who has been persecuted for exposing a dodgy CIA operation to the Senate Intelligence Committee.
Watch A | Watch B | Watch C
Download/listen 17:18

GP comment: Solomon is very good here. The title of his book gives some indication of his tone: War Made Easy: How Presidents and Pundits Keep Spinning Us to Death.

Original Show Pub Date: 12.Feb.2015 ~~ Original story titles .. Endless War? Obama Sends Congress Expansive Anti-ISIS Measure 6 Months After Bombing Began ~~ Brian Williams Suspended for False Iraq Tale, But Media's Real Scandal is the War Lies Spun Daily ~~ Was Jeffrey Sterling Trial a Gov't Effort to Divide Investigative Journalists & Whistleblowers?

CATEGORY: EMPIRE — 11.FEB.2015

Uprising

Understanding the Roots of Terrorism—Theirs and Ours — Much of President Obama's record-breaking defense budget proposal will fund proxy wars around the globe. The US is training and arming Sunni tribal groups in Iraq to fight ISIS, and it may soon begin supplying weapons to the Ukrainian military against Russia. Drone strikes continue to take their toll in Yemen and elsewhere. Meanwhile, a jingoistic film called ‘American Sniper' glorifies killing and demonizes Muslims with virtually no historical context. Chris Hedges says most Americans accept the myth of American rightness and do-goodism while ignoring the obvious parallels in the terrorism practiced by the US and the terrorism practiced by ISIS and their ilk. He says the empire is not only busy abroad but is also quietly pre-positioning suppressive-force capabilities on the home front, in preparation for the inevitable pushback from the masses as their impoverishment worsens.
Go to page | Download/listen 27:32

Casino band birmingham

The Flintstones

Quirky, familiar and funny, there's nothing quite like a Flintstones-themed slot. The iconic cartoon that inspired this slot game shot to incredible fame already in the 60s and thanks to ample episodes of the much-loved cartoon, remakes, special editions, live-action movies, spinoffs, and paraphernalia, it's as popular as ever.

The Flintstones video slots have the key Flintstones characters as the slot symbols (including the pet Dino!) and boast an array of unique features, special modes and 'Bowling Bonuses' (Fred does love his bowling) which might mean cash prizes and multipliers for lucky players. The host of special features, the famous characters and epic graphics make this slot game a big hit.

Count Duckula

Take another trip down memory lane (back to the 80s and 90s) with the strange, yet amusing, vegetarian vampire duck — Count Duckula (which was actually a spinoff of Danger Mouse).

This ridiculously creative character is also a central figure in a slot game, with the character himself acting as the wilds. There are special character-driven features and bonuses (including the Igor Mystery Potion and the Duckula Wall of Fame bonus). You can also try to win big with the progressive jackpot feature — with Count Duckula, it feels like anything could be possible.

Drunk bugs

The hilarious Pub Crawlers slot game offers gamers access to a strange world filled with bugs who like their booze. This five-reel slot game centres on bar patrons, ladybug waitresses, flies, scorpions and other bugs having a good old night out. The bartender is a butterfly, there are cockroaches drinking Martinis, spiders playing poker and hornets playing pool — it's creative, unusual and jam-packed with hilarious characters.

The Big Bad Wolf

Another hugely popular video slot is the Big Bad Wolf, inspired by the Three Little Pigs tale and the Quickspin version makes use of excellent graphics to depict some truly comical characters. This game takes the form of a five-reel slot with 25 paylines to keep things exciting.

The reels are swooping, symbols tumble down in blocks and wins are marked by exploding symbols which are replaced with new ones (giving the opportunity for multiple wins). The wolf huffs and puffs in one feature (aptly called 'Blowing Down the House') there are wolf scatter symbols, special rewards like extra spins, multipliers and more. It's thrilling and fun with some wonderfully depicted characters.


A romantic frog

Frog Royale is a comedy 3D video slot based on the Frog and the Princess story, where the princess kisses the frog to find out he is her prince charming. Great characters, incredible graphics and enchanting themes make this truly enjoyable to play. This slot game comes with the opportunity to land exceptional bonus features, free spins and special golden symbols which could mean big prizes.

Rango

If quirky, cute and funny slot machines are your thing then you will definitely love Rango. The main character of this jackpot slot is the oddball cowboy chameleon from the animated film and he is joined by a number of his popular co-stars, such as Bad Bill the horrible tortoise and Priscilla the mouse. Goofy, lighthearted and packed with surprises (and the potential for big wins), this slot is a must-play.

Funny Slot Machine Memes

A few feathery fowls

If you're an avid Twitcher then you're bound to love the funny-looking birds in Feathered Frenzy. From parrots and toucans to owls and cardinals, bluebirds and more, you're sure to satiate your love for bird watching and slots with this game. The birds do cute little dances when they land on active paylines, there are loads of free spins up for grabs, a golden scatter egg and comical bonus rounds. The birds have been well-designed to be absolutely adorable.

If you love to play slots online, then the great news is there's no shortage of quirky themes and funny characters to make your gaming experience all the more enjoyable. Head over to Mecca Bingo and embrace the huge variety of slots available at the click of a button. You can also play online bingo, scratchcards, jackpots and more.

If you're a gambler, quote us on this: The odds are you'll love these funny gambling quotes. Who wouldn't go double-down on a page of funny quotes amount gamblers and betting? No crapping out here!

PAGE INDEX
  • Funny Gambling Quotes ..
    GENERAL
  • Gambling - Funny Quotes ..
    AT THE TABLES
  • Gambling Quotes - Funny ..
    TIPS FOR THE GAMBLER
  • Funny Quotes about Gambling ..
    PLAYING THE PONIES
  • Funny Gambler Quotes ..
    FROM MOVIES AND TV
  • Funny Gambling Quotes ..
    FROM THE 'BEYOND ROOM'
  • Also See:
    Related Stuff, Send Me a Quote

Funny Gambling Quotes ..
GENERAL

'Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.'

'I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That's how I lost my mind.'

'The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.'

'The urge to gamble is so universal and its practice so pleasurable that I assume it must be evil.'

'Gambling promises the poor what property performs for the rich—something for nothing. '

'Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.'

'In Louisiana, we don't bet on football games, we bet on whether a politician is going to be indicted or not.'

'Last year people won more than one billion dollars playing poker. And casinos made twenty-seven billion just by being around those people.'

'I don't gamble, because winning a hundred dollars doesn't give me great pleasure. But losing a hundred dollars pisses me off.'

'Casinos and prostitutes have the same thing in common; they are both trying to screw you out of your money and send you home with a smile on you face.'

'Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.'

'No wife can endure a gambling husband—unless he is a steady winner.'

'A Gentleman is a man who will pay his gambling debts even when he knows he has been cheated.'

'If you ain't just a little scared when you enter a casino, you are either very rich or you haven't studied the games enough.'


ADVERTISEMENT

Funny Gambling Quotes ..
AT THE TABLES

'When your opponent's sittin' there holdin' all the aces, there's only one thing to do: kick over the table.'

'If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you.'

'In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.'

'Baccarat is a game whereby the croupier gathers in money with a flexible sculling oar, then rakes it home. If I could have borrowed his oar I would have stayed.'


FREE AUDIO CLIPS

Funny Gambling Quotes ..
TIPS FOR THE GAMBLER

'There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one.'

'The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.'

'No dog can go as fast as the money you bet on him.'

'The best throw with the dice is to throw them away.'

'In the case of an earthquake hitting Las Vegas, be sure to go straight to the Keno Lounge. Nothing ever gets hit there.'

'Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.'

You can get new funny quotes every month
free by email
Know someone who would enjoy
this page of Funny Gambling Quotes?
Send page

Funny Gambling Quotes ..
PLAYING THE PONIES

'I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.'

'A race track is a place where windows clean people.'

'Nobody has ever bet enough on a winning horse.'

'You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people.'

'One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him.'

'A racehorse is an animal that can take several thousand people for a ride at the same time.'

'Horse sense is a good judgment which keeps horses from betting on people.'

Funny Gambling Quotes ..
FROM MOVIES AND TV

From 101 Dalmatians: The Series

Cruella de Vil: 'Memo to myself: Give up gambling. It's wrong.. especially if you lose money.'

From Star Trek

Spock: 'Captain, I'm beginning to understand why you Earthmen enjoy gambling. No matter how carefully one computes the odds of success, there is still a certain exhilaration in the risk.'

From Casablanca

Captain Renault, pretending to be surprised during a Nazi inspection of Rick's: 'I'm shocked—shocked!—to find that gambling is going on in here!'

AMAZON PURCHASES FROM HERE HELP SUPPORT THIS FREE SITE. THANKS!

Search Amazon.com for more..


Funny Gambling Quotes ..
FROM THE 'BEYOND ROOM'

'I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling, I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.'

'Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.'

'God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.'

'One of the healthiest ways to gamble is with a spade and a package of garden seeds.'

Slot Machine Sayings


THE EVER-POPULAR TORTURED SEGUE

RESILIENT DUKES AND THE HAZARDS OF BOSS ENERGY HOG
Is your home town gambling that gasoline and diesel won't experience future shortages? That electricity outages and disruptions to critical services will be minimal? Probably. Find out what they SHOULD be doing in our article about fuel shortages and power outages.

Slot Machine Funny Quotes Inspirational Quotes


Funny Gambling Quotes
COMM. CENTER & RELATED STUFF

SIMILAR CATEGORIES

Funny Quote subject list

Jokes/Cartoons (General)

PASS 'EM ON!

Do you know someone who would like these funny quotes about gambling and gamblers? Please forward to them.

SEND ME A
FUNNY GAMBLING QUOTE

If you know of a funny gambling quote that I missed, please email it to me. Provide the text of the quote and who said it (and, if you have it, a web reference where we can verify the text and the spelling of the person's name, etc.). So.. email me a quote. Thanks!

Feed Your Brain!
AUDIO CLIPS
THE SURE THING IN NEWS

CATEGORY: HISTORY, FINANCIAL — 14.FEB.2015

Peak Prosperity

Either We Break the Bankster Alliances or They Will Break Us — Nomi Prins reviews the historical circumstances that led to the formation of the big-bank-controlled Federal Reserve; that is, how the financial foxes were put in charge of the public's hen house. She then explains how many rich US elites in the late 1800s/early 1900s thought that keeping money flowing and not being too draconian helped the masses, which in turn helped the elites maintain the system that provided the wealth. But some bankers were not of a mind to play the game this way, and Louis Brandeis warned: 'We must break the Money Trust or the Money Trust will break us.' Nomi Prins says we are headed into a new era of high banker mischief, vast income gaps, and reckless behavior among leaders and elites. She says we must take heed of Brandeis' warning and take down the banker-corporate-politician-industrial complex.
Go to page | Download/listen 52:45

GP comment: I have passed on a couple of Prins interviews earlier this year, but here she is starting to step outside the envelope and address the bankster power structure as the criminal enterprise that it truly is.

Original Show Pub Date: 31.Jan.2015

CATEGORY: MEDIA, EMPIRE — 13.FEB.2015

Democracy Now

Endless War, Endless War Spin — As Obama talks about a new major cycle of the war on terror—this time against the Islamic State—Norman Solomon of the Institute for Public Accuracy says Obama talks about not being interested in 'endless war' but is doing more than any previous president to engage the US in exactly that. Solomon also says Brain Williams' worst lies about war were not his exaggerations of his personal experiences reporting from danger zones but rather his parroting the war propaganda of both the Bush and Obama administrations and his failure to challenge any aspect of the corrupt endless-war agenda. Of course, all the big names in media did the same. Finally, Solomon talks about the case of CIA whistleblower Jeffrey Sterling, who has been persecuted for exposing a dodgy CIA operation to the Senate Intelligence Committee.
Watch A | Watch B | Watch C
Download/listen 17:18

GP comment: Solomon is very good here. The title of his book gives some indication of his tone: War Made Easy: How Presidents and Pundits Keep Spinning Us to Death.

Original Show Pub Date: 12.Feb.2015 ~~ Original story titles .. Endless War? Obama Sends Congress Expansive Anti-ISIS Measure 6 Months After Bombing Began ~~ Brian Williams Suspended for False Iraq Tale, But Media's Real Scandal is the War Lies Spun Daily ~~ Was Jeffrey Sterling Trial a Gov't Effort to Divide Investigative Journalists & Whistleblowers?

CATEGORY: EMPIRE — 11.FEB.2015

Uprising

Understanding the Roots of Terrorism—Theirs and Ours — Much of President Obama's record-breaking defense budget proposal will fund proxy wars around the globe. The US is training and arming Sunni tribal groups in Iraq to fight ISIS, and it may soon begin supplying weapons to the Ukrainian military against Russia. Drone strikes continue to take their toll in Yemen and elsewhere. Meanwhile, a jingoistic film called ‘American Sniper' glorifies killing and demonizes Muslims with virtually no historical context. Chris Hedges says most Americans accept the myth of American rightness and do-goodism while ignoring the obvious parallels in the terrorism practiced by the US and the terrorism practiced by ISIS and their ilk. He says the empire is not only busy abroad but is also quietly pre-positioning suppressive-force capabilities on the home front, in preparation for the inevitable pushback from the masses as their impoverishment worsens.
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GP comment: Many excellent points in this one.

Original Show Pub Date: 09.Feb.2015

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